It's been almost 2 months............................... since I blogged and I have so much to share (hahahahaha, gotcha didn't I?). Jon is having a "guy's and Wii lunch" tomorrow so I am keeping myself out of the house for awhile and thinking that a trip to Starbucks with my laptop will be in order and hopefully I can do some update posts there.
But I wanted to get back into blogging with something easy so.......
Ive been reading this on some other blogs and here it goes!
A. Age: 31
B. Bed size: Queen; at the beginning of the night it feels too large and by 3 AM it's too small and I want to stretch out, in the middle of the bed and Jon seems to want to do the same!
C. Chore I hate: Mopping and dusting. But fortunately I have a really great housekeeper named Hilda who does most of it. I had to break out my own mop, a steam mop this morning when Sadie threw up. (thankfully on the tile in the kitchen and not in the carpet, yay! for small wins).
D. Dog: Yes, sweet Sadie. She weighs 40 lbs and is ten or eleven years old and completely snuggly and cute.
E. Essential start to my day: Peace and quiet; I am a slow starter and I really don't want to talk to you that early.
F. Favorite color: Grey and dark, dark orange.
G. Gold or silver: Silver; but I have a fabulous gold Movado watch that I can't seem to match.
H. Height: I think I'm 5'5". But the lady who did my physical last year for life insurance said I was 5'6". Who knows?
I. Instruments I play: I used to play the oboe. I can still kinda play piano. I've also played the clarinet and Marimba. They are all closely related. I can't seem to play a guitar to save my life.
J. Job title: RN- neurobehavioral a.k.a. psychiatry; I switched jobs at the end of January and now work in a mostly geri psychiatric unit. We mostly have patients with dementia, which isn't always interesting to me but every now and then....when the moon is in alignment with the stars.......we get a flood of "real psychiatric patients" like we have right now and then I get a familiar taste in my mouth of why I love psychiatry and feel like I am in my element again. It's like an adrenaline rush and I feel so relaxed and at ease.
K. Kids: Not yet but hoping to be ready to start trying sometime this year but I have a blood clotting disorder that makes me prone to miscarriages and automatically puts us in the high risk category and means that I will have to take injections of blood thinner medication (anticoagulants) twice a day throughout my pregnancy and possibly before to make the pregnancy "stick" so to speak.I already take these every time we travel and it's nothing new but....twice a day for 9 months is a little bit longer than I'm used to. Because we use NFP my doctor is requesting that I go for a "pre-conceptual consult" to the high risk obstetricians soon just in case we should get a "surprise!" and because they like to plan before you plan. Whew! I say I want 3 kids but......we will see how the first one goes and go from there. Not ready just yet......but having 2 of my best friends pregnant and being surrounded by all of these other pregnant women are definitely making me jealous, jealous, jealous. It's a weird, difficult to describe feeling.
L. Live: Nashville TN
M. Mom's name: Pamela
N. Nicknames: Shug (from my brothers), Bratley (from Jon)
O. Overnight hospital stay: when I was 19 or 20 for 4 nights after I developed blood clots in my legs, a.k.a. DVTs. This is when I found out I had the blood clotting disorder.
P. Pet peeves: dirty dishes, irresponsibility, ignorance, people not using their 5 senses all at once, people who lack non verbal communication interpretation skills, slow drivers, bad pet owners, slow checkout lanes, my schedule/routine being turned around.
Q. Quote from a movie: "where we're going we don't need any roads."
R. Righty or lefty: ambidextrous, depends on the moment
S. Siblings: 2 brothers, i have no sister skills in me and i'm okay with that
T. Time I wake up: If it's a work day then 5:30 a.m.; non work days are between 6:30-9 a.m.; yes I know that's a broad range but it varies
U. Underwear: Usually
V. Vegetable you dislike: any that are cooked to death and most peas
W. What makes me run late: Jon, Jon, Jon!
X. X-rays: recently just my teeth. I had a few in my 4th semester of nursing school when I was in a car wreck and broke my wrist but not too many since then.
Y. Yummy food you make: I love to cook and most of the things I make are pretty yummy. I love to take a normal recipe and modify into a lower fat, higher nutritional content recipe. One of my favorite things to do is to make something that tastes really yummy and also has a lot of goods nutrients in it.
Z. Favorite zoo animal: Errr, I don't know.....anteaters maybe.
That's it and now you know WAY too much about me!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Springtime
I don't normally blog about the everyday things we do but I thought I might give it a shot today because we have been having a very busy spring. Normally I work every other weekend but took some time off in March so we had some extra weekend time. April has really been the first month, at my new job, that I have been working my complete schedule without taking off any........but I'm taking off a lot in May! I realized today that we have really been getting out and about and enjoying our Spring weather here in Nashville so I thought I would recap some of those moments right now while I am sitting out on the deck, in the shade, waiting on some corn to grill, and watching Sadie and Jon take a nap.
This is my sister-in-law, Arika, she is about 7 mos. pregnant here and we kicked off our Spring by going to Hendersonville to attend and baby shower for her. Let me tell you, she is one of the amazing pregnant women I know. She had her first child almost 2 years ago while living in Switzerland! This is her second child and she makes it all look so easy. A couple of Jon's parents friends had this baby shower for her. The new baby, Alexa Sophia is due mid-May, I think on the 16....my birthday is on the 21st. Cutting it close!!
Another weekend we focused on detailing our cars and I will not bore you with those details.......it is not one of my favorite or even likeable things to do. But Jon, as always, being the awesome husband that he is found a way to lure me into helping him with this by providing refreshments!
Yay for Yazoo Dos Perros Ale
Another weekend we went for a long walk over the Cumberland River Pedestrian Bridge off of Briley Pkwy, near where the old Opryland used to be and where the Opryland Hotel still is and this connects to Shelby Bottoms, one of Nashville's many greenways. Urban "hiking" at it's best! We got to walk over this really neato bridge I had been wanting to go over for quite some time.
Cumberland River Pedestrian Bridge from Briley
The Cumberland Pedestrian Bridge, Nashville Tn
You would never guess that this was behind us:
Seriously I took a picture of the bridge and then turned around and took a picture of the interstate right behind us. Eh, you can't have your cake and eat it too! After you walk a quarter of a mile you don't even know the interstate is there anyways. Yay for an urban oasis! This was an interesting actually a boring walk really. The bridge was neato but other than that, b-o-r-i-n-g. The most interesting thing to happen on this walk was that we ran into my hair stylist and her posse and the only reason she recognized me, I think, was because she had just done my hair for me the day before and, she recognized my dog! I don't think we will be doing this walk again, it was just what I said it was, boring. Not to mention it's about 25 minutes from our house, we have numerous other locations within that same time-distance that are more secluded, more developed and just offer more in general. Or we could swing for a 45 minute total drive and be at my favorite hiking destination, Old Stone Fort and visit a winery nearby at the same time!! What's not to love!?
Today we chose somewhere closer to home, about 10 minutes away, Radnor Lake. The thing about Radnor Lake is that it's scenic, fairly quiet and still within the city limits. Not to mention I kept my eyes peeled for homes for sale and lots for sale on the same street. There were a few but I don't think the lots were really what we are looking for in the future and there was only one home for sale and it was just okay. So onwards and upwards! Radnor Lake is perfect if you don't have a lot of time to drive or walk. It's very short. Also note, if you haven't been here before that you cannot take dogs on the wooded trails, only on the paved road...........which is a huge drawback for us because I can't really justify going to walk somewhere and not taking Sadie, who goes for a nice walk in the woods and leaves their dog at home, assholes! This is a good walk though because it's quick, within a very short driving distance and nearby everywhere we had to stop on the way home yet still giving us our "urban oasis", "out of town" feel. Here are some things we saw:
Radnor Lake, Nashville Tennessee
Me taking a picture of myself on the way there. Jon has two cars, one of which is an old Miata. I would tell you the year, but I don't know what it is . I think the thing is a deathtrap and I don't care too much for riding in cars as small as it. I have known Jon almost 4 years, today was the 4th time in that many years that I have agreed to ride in this "deathtrap". I was in the kitchen prepping lunch and dinners for the next couple of days because I have to work Monday and Tuesday and all of the sudden I thought, what the heck, Jon loves that little car, why not suck it up and surprise him by riding in it. Seriously that's all he asks for, what's a few minutes in it? I had to take several pictures to mark the occasion.
Another weekend we focused on detailing our cars and I will not bore you with those details.......it is not one of my favorite or even likeable things to do. But Jon, as always, being the awesome husband that he is found a way to lure me into helping him with this by providing refreshments!
Another weekend we went for a long walk over the Cumberland River Pedestrian Bridge off of Briley Pkwy, near where the old Opryland used to be and where the Opryland Hotel still is and this connects to Shelby Bottoms, one of Nashville's many greenways. Urban "hiking" at it's best! We got to walk over this really neato bridge I had been wanting to go over for quite some time.
You would never guess that this was behind us:
Seriously I took a picture of the bridge and then turned around and took a picture of the interstate right behind us. Eh, you can't have your cake and eat it too! After you walk a quarter of a mile you don't even know the interstate is there anyways. Yay for an urban oasis! This was an
Today we chose somewhere closer to home, about 10 minutes away, Radnor Lake. The thing about Radnor Lake is that it's scenic, fairly quiet and still within the city limits. Not to mention I kept my eyes peeled for homes for sale and lots for sale on the same street. There were a few but I don't think the lots were really what we are looking for in the future and there was only one home for sale and it was just okay. So onwards and upwards! Radnor Lake is perfect if you don't have a lot of time to drive or walk. It's very short. Also note, if you haven't been here before that you cannot take dogs on the wooded trails, only on the paved road...........which is a huge drawback for us because I can't really justify going to walk somewhere and not taking Sadie,
4 or 5 Turtles on a fallen over tree
Sweet Sadie von Hoscheit
a dam, speaks for itself!
Sadie and Jon at the Visitor's Center
Sadie and Jon taking a nap once we got home.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Growing up is Hard- Part 2
Okay, so I just thought you might want to see a photo of the Duquesne Incline in Pittsburgh, PA that I rode up with Matt. What part of, "you are riding this thing with a girl who is afraid of heights, this is your chance to hold her close, etc", did he not get?!
Before we went on our "date" that night; (can we even call it a date since he didn't seem that interested in me romantically). I am going to make the decision to stick to calling it a date since we were alone, by ourselves (and it boosts my self-esteem!). So before we went he came in and met my parents, blah blah blah. But one funny thing while he was talking to my parents and they were asking about his "church school" etc he asked had I applied to the "church school" before deciding to go to Miami U. I said, "no, no, I didn't." My mother jumped up, went out of the room and came back with an acceptance letter in her hand from the "church school". Crap! Then my mother proclaimed, "see, yes, you applied, you even got accepted." At this point I just mumbled something like, "well, it wasn't for me, time to go ride that incline (even if I am scared)." Truth be told, and I didn't tell Matt this, if I had chosen to go to that school they would have kicked me out starting with orientation on day 1. My parents had made me apply to the school since it was only 45 mins or so from their house but I knew I was not going there.
So after our "date" riding the incline Matt did not kiss me or anything when we got back to my parents house and said goodnight. But I did agree to drive up to his church school later in the week.........
So Friday came around and we decided I would drive up to the school and see it, meet some of Matt's friends and then we were going shopping for a wedding present for one of his friends. I got up to this school and let me just tell you, I was not in Kansas anymore; this was different. The boys and the girls lived in separate dorms/apt style housing. Matt lived with 3 other guys on campus in this apt like thing where you walked in the front door and there was the living room and behind that a small kitchen and behind that was a hallways leading to the bedrooms/bathrooms and YOU COULD NOT CROSS THE LINE PAST THE KITCHEN!! I don't want to sound like a hussy, and I'm not but, seriously, where in the world had I landed!? And, and, you had to keep the door of the living room that opened to a main hallway open and they were only allowed to "co-mingle" or whatever you want to call it on Friday and Saturday nights in each other's place of residences and this was all overseen by an RA type figure that actually was watching!! I think you could hold hands on campus with your person of interest but kissing was definitely out of the question. Sidenote: I bet the Duggars, of 19 kids and counting, would like this school. Then again, the visitation might even be too much. To me, the funniest part was shortly after I arrived at his place of residence and he offered to show me around and basically pointed to the living room we were standing in and the kitchen (this is where they kept the Kool-Aid..........hahaha, just kidding). And immediately after he showed me he was kind of like, "well, that's it." And asked me something like did I have any questions or something like that and I kind of rudely said, "well, I don't think there's anything else to see here."
After the "Tour of Homes" :) we went to buy Matt's wedding gift. Then he had the bright idea to take me to meet his parents. This also included an introduction to his grandmother who was found in a living room watching the Saturday night lineup on NPT. I thought, well, certainly his parents will be cool and maybe I will see more eye to eye with them. Nope. His mother was a nurse and his father was a social worker/counselor/therapist type of man. He even had to leave in the middle of our powow to go and talk someone out of suicide. This was the last time that I ever saw Matt. After this night I was completely convinced that it just wasn't going to work out. A couple of years later I brought his name up in conversation with my mother. My mother said, "I knew it wouldn't work out between you two the minute I met him, he was nice, but way too boring for you." Never have I ever laughed so hard. What truth!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Growing up is Hard
As previously mentioned in one of my other blogs, I dated my fair share of frogs before I found my prince charming. Well, they weren't all frogs I guess.....some were nice, I will admit, but anyways......they weren't the missing piece to my puzzle so onwards and upwards!
Jon playing a piano in the groom's room
I did not date a lot in high school. I think I had two serious boyfriends and one casual boyfriend and did not really date a lot in between those boyfriends. All I can say about those relationships is that it was a long time ago, in another time, another place and the Lord works in mysterious ways. My heart was broken several times and apparently I broke one too, but who's counting? The honest truth is I don't like to think about that time a whole lot. High school was a traumatic, tumultuous time for me. Every, single time I meet a young girl broken-hearted and convinced that "he's the one who got away" I just want to pick her up and hold her and tell her it's all going to be okay and that eventually she will see the light. I am so thankful that I did not settle. Thankful that my "steering" could not alter the plans God had planned for me because trust me, when I sit down and look into that crystal ball and see what could have been...........my oh my, I am so thankful for the way things turned out. I won't go into the details that I see of things that might have been but let's just say it isn't really me and I would probably be miserable.
So I took one of those high school boyfriends to college with me. Actually I went to Miami University and he chose to go to the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and then transferred to Miami U. Can I just tell you that we filled out the transfer papers together for him to come to Miami. I was working in the University mail room at the time and I actually hand delivered his transfer papers. We even got him a room in my dorm!! Thirty days after he arrived at Miami he did not meet me after class one day to walk back to the dorm. I found him though walking home with a friend, in my mind, "too cool to wait for your girlfriend." Later that night after dinner at the dining hall across the street I jumped in front of him on the sidewalk and screamed, "what is your problem?!" He basically told me he no longer loved me, point blank. I threw up, a lot. I cried, a lot. It was dramatic and went on and on for months, up and down and around and around. I won't go into the details because I said I wouldn't display another person in such a light as to make them look poorly at the start of my blog. But I will tell you this, as I say to every young girl I meet who is broken hearted; it's like climbing a mountain when you're trying to get over someone. You climb up a little and you fall back down a little, you go up and you go down until finally, one day you reach the peak and climb down on the other side!! And you will know when you reach that point, you will know even if you haven't been thinking about the process. It's like you suddenly breathe for the first time!
Okay, on to more humorous stories. So after I got over this hurdle of mine let me tell you, I shot off like a loose cannon and never looked back! One time in college, I had two dates in one day, and I saw my ex boyfriend that day too......dangerous! Playing with fire!! One of them was a really nice guy, Matt, we went to play frisbee golf because Matt was like that. He was just in summer school at Miami doing some sort of sciency internship. He actually went to a school that I think was about 45 away from Pittsburgh. A "church school" (that's what I called it). So as you can imagine, we went on a date in broad daylight, out in the open where everyone could see us, where we weren't left alone to the temptations young people have!
Sidenote: I am being sarcastic here. As I said in the beginning we won't always agree. I accept that some of you won't find this funny and that some of you would agree with Matt's ways of dating and that's OKAY; it just never worked for me.
Anyways, so I went on this date with Matt and we played frisbee golf and then he went to study........and I went to get ready for my next date, ha! Next date, Jake. Jake and I were in a class together and had worked on a project together. Jake and I had planned to play tennis for our date. Yes, I was getting quite a bit of exercise that day. Difference with date #2 of the day? When I showed up to play tennis with this guy he had brought all of this beer with him, including my favorite. Hmmmm tennis and beer? Yeah, no. I think I drank about one to be polite, I mean, seriously!!! I might not be straight and narrow but I'm not like that and I am smarter than to let you get me drunk in the hot, blazing sun while we play tennis! After a little tennis we went to dinner. I pulled the flag when he ordered a large beer with dinner (underage) and asked me could I drive his car back to school. I didn't mind underage drinking and I did my fair share, but not with a fake i.d. in public and not on a date!! As if!! So that was that.
After summer school I had a few weeks before Fall semester started. At this point my parents were living in Pittsburgh, PA and I was FORCED to go there and spend a few weeks. Matt (from one of the paragraphs above) and I agreed to a date one night. I was feeling pretty good about this, I mean, yeah we had gone on that straight and narrow date but after Jake I thought, I think I will stay with the straight and narrow! I hadn't seen any happy-mediums out there. So Matt drove down to Pittsburgh one night from his "church school" (his parents also lived nearby the school) and we went downtown and ate and road this trolley thing way up on a mountain that overlooks the city. I know, you're thinking, how romantic. Let me tell you, it was not. I hate heights and I did not especially care for the trolley ride. We got to the top and it was still not romantic. Cue me thinking: "could you please stand next to me Matt, maybe put your arm around me, reassure me it's okay."
**** I am going to tell the rest in the next blog, as you know, I tend to be long winded!****
I did not date a lot in high school. I think I had two serious boyfriends and one casual boyfriend and did not really date a lot in between those boyfriends. All I can say about those relationships is that it was a long time ago, in another time, another place and the Lord works in mysterious ways. My heart was broken several times and apparently I broke one too, but who's counting? The honest truth is I don't like to think about that time a whole lot. High school was a traumatic, tumultuous time for me. Every, single time I meet a young girl broken-hearted and convinced that "he's the one who got away" I just want to pick her up and hold her and tell her it's all going to be okay and that eventually she will see the light. I am so thankful that I did not settle. Thankful that my "steering" could not alter the plans God had planned for me because trust me, when I sit down and look into that crystal ball and see what could have been...........my oh my, I am so thankful for the way things turned out. I won't go into the details that I see of things that might have been but let's just say it isn't really me and I would probably be miserable.
So I took one of those high school boyfriends to college with me. Actually I went to Miami University and he chose to go to the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and then transferred to Miami U. Can I just tell you that we filled out the transfer papers together for him to come to Miami. I was working in the University mail room at the time and I actually hand delivered his transfer papers. We even got him a room in my dorm!! Thirty days after he arrived at Miami he did not meet me after class one day to walk back to the dorm. I found him though walking home with a friend, in my mind, "too cool to wait for your girlfriend." Later that night after dinner at the dining hall across the street I jumped in front of him on the sidewalk and screamed, "what is your problem?!" He basically told me he no longer loved me, point blank. I threw up, a lot. I cried, a lot. It was dramatic and went on and on for months, up and down and around and around. I won't go into the details because I said I wouldn't display another person in such a light as to make them look poorly at the start of my blog. But I will tell you this, as I say to every young girl I meet who is broken hearted; it's like climbing a mountain when you're trying to get over someone. You climb up a little and you fall back down a little, you go up and you go down until finally, one day you reach the peak and climb down on the other side!! And you will know when you reach that point, you will know even if you haven't been thinking about the process. It's like you suddenly breathe for the first time!
Okay, on to more humorous stories. So after I got over this hurdle of mine let me tell you, I shot off like a loose cannon and never looked back! One time in college, I had two dates in one day, and I saw my ex boyfriend that day too......dangerous! Playing with fire!! One of them was a really nice guy, Matt, we went to play frisbee golf because Matt was like that. He was just in summer school at Miami doing some sort of sciency internship. He actually went to a school that I think was about 45 away from Pittsburgh. A "church school" (that's what I called it). So as you can imagine, we went on a date in broad daylight, out in the open where everyone could see us, where we weren't left alone to the temptations young people have!
Sidenote: I am being sarcastic here. As I said in the beginning we won't always agree. I accept that some of you won't find this funny and that some of you would agree with Matt's ways of dating and that's OKAY; it just never worked for me.
Anyways, so I went on this date with Matt and we played frisbee golf and then he went to study........and I went to get ready for my next date, ha! Next date, Jake. Jake and I were in a class together and had worked on a project together. Jake and I had planned to play tennis for our date. Yes, I was getting quite a bit of exercise that day. Difference with date #2 of the day? When I showed up to play tennis with this guy he had brought all of this beer with him, including my favorite. Hmmmm tennis and beer? Yeah, no. I think I drank about one to be polite, I mean, seriously!!! I might not be straight and narrow but I'm not like that and I am smarter than to let you get me drunk in the hot, blazing sun while we play tennis! After a little tennis we went to dinner. I pulled the flag when he ordered a large beer with dinner (underage) and asked me could I drive his car back to school. I didn't mind underage drinking and I did my fair share, but not with a fake i.d. in public and not on a date!! As if!! So that was that.
After summer school I had a few weeks before Fall semester started. At this point my parents were living in Pittsburgh, PA and I was FORCED to go there and spend a few weeks. Matt (from one of the paragraphs above) and I agreed to a date one night. I was feeling pretty good about this, I mean, yeah we had gone on that straight and narrow date but after Jake I thought, I think I will stay with the straight and narrow! I hadn't seen any happy-mediums out there. So Matt drove down to Pittsburgh one night from his "church school" (his parents also lived nearby the school) and we went downtown and ate and road this trolley thing way up on a mountain that overlooks the city. I know, you're thinking, how romantic. Let me tell you, it was not. I hate heights and I did not especially care for the trolley ride. We got to the top and it was still not romantic. Cue me thinking: "could you please stand next to me Matt, maybe put your arm around me, reassure me it's okay."
**** I am going to tell the rest in the next blog, as you know, I tend to be long winded!****
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Trying to Fit In
I can't believe I let the blog go for so long. I can't believe that all of my ideas I have written down on a piece of paper are too involved for me to think about right now. My brain is sort of numb. I went back to work on the 24th of January and spent, I think, a week and a half in classroom orientation; it felt a lot like nursing school all over again. I will spare you the details but I seriously felt a lot like I was back in school; only this time I was a lot more anxious for some reason. I reviewed a lot of things I had forgotten about. I met some really great people that have been very helpful. One good thing though about all of this was that spirituality and believing in God and using yourself as a vehicle to spread his teachings were mentioned every single day. I also felt a lot of anxiety because we kept talking about all sorts of medical conditions I really didn't know a whole lot about and all of it makes me nervous. I am a psychiatric nurse, I went to school for nursing knowing I would only work in psychiatry, it is the only place I feel safe. (yeah, i know, most of you would not feel safe being locked up in a psychiatric unit but for me it's HOME). I also realized throughout my classroom orientation that it was the first time I had been in a hospital since Jon had ruptured his spleen and had the long recovery this past summer. I felt all of it coming back on me. I think I cried almost every day after work. I cried when one of the chaplains came and talked for 2 hours about death and the reactions that people have and their understanding of it. He shared numerous stories about people that aren't even sick getting involved in something during the course of their day and then die suddenly and tragically. My eyes were watered the entire 2 hours, my hands were also busy moving from anxiety the entire time. I have been shown where the morgue is 3 times in the new hospital I am working in. I saw the "dead body carts" twice the other day. I saw a patient from my unit get transferred to hospice and I watched her family being told she had 6 months or less to live. I was walking down the hall and saw a doctor talking with a wife and I saw her fall into the wall and almost collapse from the bad news she was given. I had to watch a very long video on organ donation and it was about a young student who had been the mascot at a university and was hit by a driver as he was walking along a road and his parents talked about how they had to decide whether or not donate his organs and then they interviewed the people who received the organs....not a dry eye in the room! I even cried during the bed demonstration where they were showing us how to use these fancy high-tech beds we have. When they put the bed into this chair/sitting position I suddenly remembered and saw Jon sitting up in one of those bed in ICU.
Tuesday and Wednesday were my first two days working on my unit. There were a few patients who made me smile and some who made me laugh. There was one who made me cry; a lady who had tried to commit suicide a couple of days before and when she finally opened up and talked to me about all of the things going on in her life at current I broke down and cried too. I am working on a small psychiatric unit at a faith-based hospital; mostly geriatrics but some middle aged adults. On my first day the husband of one of the patients was asking me a question that I didn't know the answer too and no one was around I could ask so I confessed that it was my first day and I would have to seek out someone who knew what we should do. He asked me if I was Catholic and after I said yes he asked me if he could give me one of the small rosaries he keeps in his pocket and passes out to people. I was so impressed and suddenly calm. Several of the patients have given me hugs and they need hugs too :) Some of the more "with it" patients helped me out and would tell me where the ones who couldn't speak for themselves like to sit and where things were located, very helpful. One of the older patients with dementia and I were talking and I hadn't seen something and I jokingly said to him, "do you think I need to get my eyes checked?" He exclaimed, "no, you need to have your brain checked." I could not stop laughing!!
Despite all of the anxiety and tears and frustration with trying to know who everyone is and what role they have and where everything is I would say it's going better than it was when I first started. It's frustrating going from the person with all the answers to not having a clue. A couple of my co workers have been very supportive and one was baffled and said, "i just don't get it, it's like you've always been here or something, you've just settled right in and look like you're at home." I don't necessarily FEEL at home yet but they say, "fake it til' you make it"! So that's what I'm trying to do. I only had one drug addict patient this week, that was awesome and so different from the experiences I have had in the past, very excited about that. And, and, and.....not one patient called me a nasty name!! So I would say things are on the up and up. It's just going to take some getting used to. I hope to return to my previously scheduled bloggings soon but for now I'm just trying to hang in there; being away from home for 14 hours every day that I work is tiresome!
Tuesday and Wednesday were my first two days working on my unit. There were a few patients who made me smile and some who made me laugh. There was one who made me cry; a lady who had tried to commit suicide a couple of days before and when she finally opened up and talked to me about all of the things going on in her life at current I broke down and cried too. I am working on a small psychiatric unit at a faith-based hospital; mostly geriatrics but some middle aged adults. On my first day the husband of one of the patients was asking me a question that I didn't know the answer too and no one was around I could ask so I confessed that it was my first day and I would have to seek out someone who knew what we should do. He asked me if I was Catholic and after I said yes he asked me if he could give me one of the small rosaries he keeps in his pocket and passes out to people. I was so impressed and suddenly calm. Several of the patients have given me hugs and they need hugs too :) Some of the more "with it" patients helped me out and would tell me where the ones who couldn't speak for themselves like to sit and where things were located, very helpful. One of the older patients with dementia and I were talking and I hadn't seen something and I jokingly said to him, "do you think I need to get my eyes checked?" He exclaimed, "no, you need to have your brain checked." I could not stop laughing!!
Despite all of the anxiety and tears and frustration with trying to know who everyone is and what role they have and where everything is I would say it's going better than it was when I first started. It's frustrating going from the person with all the answers to not having a clue. A couple of my co workers have been very supportive and one was baffled and said, "i just don't get it, it's like you've always been here or something, you've just settled right in and look like you're at home." I don't necessarily FEEL at home yet but they say, "fake it til' you make it"! So that's what I'm trying to do. I only had one drug addict patient this week, that was awesome and so different from the experiences I have had in the past, very excited about that. And, and, and.....not one patient called me a nasty name!! So I would say things are on the up and up. It's just going to take some getting used to. I hope to return to my previously scheduled bloggings soon but for now I'm just trying to hang in there; being away from home for 14 hours every day that I work is tiresome!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I Am Planning To Continue Blogging....
I am planning to continue blogging but I need a normal schedule before I can do so. Right now I am in orientation for my new job and I do not know how some of you work 5 days a week!! I cannot wait to be finished with orientation and only working 3 days a week. Work is just taking up too much of my time and I can't stand that as soon as I get home I have to workout, then shower, then cook, then clean, then time for bed and repeat. What is the point?!
At any rate it will probably be the weekend before I sit down to really blog again because I am just too stressed out right now. I know, I'm crazy; but it's true. I realized today that one of the reasons I'm having so much trouble with anxiety the past week is because, I think, this is the first time I have been back in a hospital since Jon's spleen ruptured and nearly killed him at the beginning of the summer. And then I got caught up in the wedding planning drama. This is the first time in a long time I've had time to think and it's causing me all kinds of anxiety. I've always, always had trouble adapting and making changes whether it was the first day of school or first day of the semester, etc. This has been particularly rough on me and I am hoping it goes away really soon because walking around all day feeling like you can't breathe isn't very comfortable.
Yesterday I even skipped working out and came straight home, took a bath and got in the bed and pulled the covers over my head and except for a small snack, didn't get up until this morning to do it all over again. Today I realized the whole thing about being back in a hospital and I just kept remembering Jon being so sick and how he almost died, etc. and then wouldn't you know it, a pastor came in to talk for an hour about death. About how the families feel after someone dies, what our views are of death, how the patient feels etc. There I was already down and boom it all came hurtling at me again. Some things he shared were very touching and I had tears in my eyes thinking about it all. And then I drove home in the pouring down rain.
So I will return to my more entertaining posts........I just need a few days. And a routine.
At any rate it will probably be the weekend before I sit down to really blog again because I am just too stressed out right now. I know, I'm crazy; but it's true. I realized today that one of the reasons I'm having so much trouble with anxiety the past week is because, I think, this is the first time I have been back in a hospital since Jon's spleen ruptured and nearly killed him at the beginning of the summer. And then I got caught up in the wedding planning drama. This is the first time in a long time I've had time to think and it's causing me all kinds of anxiety. I've always, always had trouble adapting and making changes whether it was the first day of school or first day of the semester, etc. This has been particularly rough on me and I am hoping it goes away really soon because walking around all day feeling like you can't breathe isn't very comfortable.
Yesterday I even skipped working out and came straight home, took a bath and got in the bed and pulled the covers over my head and except for a small snack, didn't get up until this morning to do it all over again. Today I realized the whole thing about being back in a hospital and I just kept remembering Jon being so sick and how he almost died, etc. and then wouldn't you know it, a pastor came in to talk for an hour about death. About how the families feel after someone dies, what our views are of death, how the patient feels etc. There I was already down and boom it all came hurtling at me again. Some things he shared were very touching and I had tears in my eyes thinking about it all. And then I drove home in the pouring down rain.
So I will return to my more entertaining posts........I just need a few days. And a routine.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Last One Up To Bat-part 3
I lived in my cute, little apartment for one year. I had been considering purchasing a home at some point but then again, wasn't sure it was for me or what I could afford. To tell you the truth I liked living in my little apartment. But my friend across the hall decided she was going to buy a place and her mother was kind enough to enlist a real estate agent to help us both. I was still apprehensive but it seemed like the right thing to do since I found I that I could afford to own a home for just a little bit more than my rent was costing me. I ended up buying a 2 bedroom, 2 1/2 bathroom, 2 story townhouse that was the perfect amount of space for a single girl like myself. It was the only place I looked at; true story. We drove past a few others but I wouldn't even get out of the realtors car because I didn't like the street, etc. I walked into this townhouse and I thought, well, it doesn't really need any work and it meets all of my needs, so okay. I wasn't excited and I wasn't upset; I was more like, whatever. I was scared to death of owning this place and had absolutely no idea how to paint or fix anything. My bff Brandy, I can recall her saying, "girls aren't supposed to buy houses on their own, they are supposed to get married first and then buy a house with their husband, or move into his." I said to her, "well, that's what we've been taught but I'm almost 27, the mortgage is just a little bit more than my rent, they say it's the smart thing to do." And besides Mr. Right had not come along and I didn't see a need to put my life on hold just because he couldn't hurry up! I closed and moved in at the beginning of May, 2 weeks before my 27th birthday. The real estate lady told me, "there will be lots of things you will learn to fix and do"; she said this with a smile.
So my birthday came around, I was off for the day and had plans to meet up with some friends for dinner at Virago. That afternoon I painted my nails and fixed my hair and put on my makeup and all that was left was to slip into my dress in a couple of hours and head to dinner. There had been a drip in the master shower that was bothering me and I had tried a new knob and that didn't work. I had some time to kill and thought I would run to Lowe's and exchange the knob. I was also keeping a friend's dog on this day; a very sweet dog that does volunteer work. I took the dog with me into Lowe's (they will let you do this!) and she sat there in the aisle while I looked over the various fix-it items in the plumbing/bathroom section. I thought about calling a plumber but the realtor's voice kept talking in the back of my head, "you will learn to do so many things." A nice older man who worked there helped me quickly diagnose the problem I had and it turned out all I needed was a $4.00 spring that went behind the knob and into this little hole; he showed me how to fix this on a little model they had. Simple as that and I thought, "see, I can do this!" The dog and I went home and I decided to give this a try, after all, it was my birthday, I was 27, a single, independent woman and a home owner! To make a long story short, I pulled something out behind that knob that I should not have pulled out..............WITHOUT TURNING THE MAIN WATER OFF FIRST!! THE WATER CAME SPRAYING OUT LIKE A FIRE HYDRANT!!! The water went all over the place and I couldn't stop it. I raced around the house opening closets looking for a way to shut this water off and could not find it. Finally I ran outside and knocked on every neighbors door looking for someone to help. I finally found a young man next door and he reluctantly offered to come over and he walked in and saw the water pouring through the ceiling and just stood there. Eventually we got the water off and then he left. I called my dad crying and panicking. The insurance company sent over some men who tore up my house and left these large industrial dryers everywhere and other equipment. My birthday dinner was cancelled and we sat in my living room amongst the debris eating pizza instead.
There is more to that story but I said I would get to the me finally stepping up to the plate to get married in this post so let me keep moving. After flooding my home I was traumatized. I was already uncomfortable being a home owner and now I had ruined it. I couldn't stand the sound of running water unless I was right there watching to see where it went. I spent several thousands of dollars in home repairs, yes, I had insurance but if you're replacing something you might as well upgrade I say! I had constant visions of mold that I was just sure was starting to grow as a result of the water (that was never true but that's what I kept imagining).
The saddest part about all of this is that I was having a really hard time dealing with owning a home before this flood occurred. I had found myself falling into a depressive state before I started looking for a home and after I found and bought one it didn't get better. I had been to this place in my mind before and I didn't like feeling like this. My parents gave me a dog........it tore up my new home, I returned it the day before my birthday. On the morning of my birthday I had actually decided to call a psychiatrist and make an appointment, I felt like I was getting in over my head. Who would have known later that day I would flood my new home. I had already admitted that morning that I was down and waving my white flag and then came the flood on top of it all!!! The psychiatrist gave me an antidepressant but the best prescription she gave me was a therapist.
I worked with this therapist for probably six months and then I graduated. I did all sorts of exercises to get over my traumatic experience; she was very good and it worked. One of the things she had me do that I absolutely hated at first was yoga. I ended up loving it; it brought a lot of clarity to my mind and a lot of calmness to my soul. It is something I am hoping to return to because I was a lot better person with it. On a side note she also had me buy one of those little waterfall things that sits on a table for my house and I would have to lay and listen to the water running while I did these mental exercises that calm the mind. (which sounds relaxing, unless the sound of running water makes you anxious! it was a very tough exercise for me!)
These were some things that began to calm me and settle me down from my wild ways. My friend was living 15 minutes away, rather than 2 feet away, and working at a very busy new job; so gone were the late night chats. I also was channeling my energy more to focus on me and being a better person. I guess the flood, the therapy and the yoga kind of mellowed me out. I did go on a few dates during this time but not like I did before; frankly I didn't have the energy and they bored me. I decided at that point that I was not going to associate with or participate in anything that didn't bring me up rather than down. I also borrowed a friend's not-wild dog a lot and went hiking.
The Fall season came around and I started socializing with different people that were not so wild. It's a long, complicated story how Jon and I met really so I will try to summarize. Someone we both had in common introduced us briefly and from there Jon called me to ask me out on a date. I had never really had a conversation with him and frankly I wasn't sure we would hit it off but he seemed nice enough and I had made up my mind about a month or two before that I was going to date cautiously and selectively (and it's amazing how few dates you will have after you set that rule!). Jon asked me to dinner on a night that I had to pick up one of my best friends, ken, from the airport (he was planning his move to New York:(. I refused to a dinner date, having to sit down and eat a meal with a man I hadn't really had a conversation with made me too nervous. Finally I talked him out of dinner and into just having drinks at a place we both knew. I got there early so that I could go ahead and get a drink and sit down and try to get comfortable. The place was packed and I can't tell you how many people were giving me crazy looks; there I was, this girl sitting all alone at a table. Some really drunk guys said, "hey, you're all by yourself, why don't you come and sit with us." I said, "no thanks, I'm meeting someone." A minute later one of the guys was so drunk he fell over in his chair...... The place was loud and wild; I was not. I was beginning to regret getting there early and was quite uncomfortable and nervous waiting on Jon's arrival. I kept looking back and forth from my phone to the door, looking for Jon. Finally I saw him walking towards me; I stood up and practically threw myself into his arms (remember, we didn't really know each other, we more or less just knew of each other from our friend). I exclaimed, "oh my gosh, I am so glad you are here, thank you for saving me!". Little did I know how much those words really meant. We sat down and I apologized for nearly knocking him over and everything and he looked around at the crowd and said, "no, I understand, I see what you mean." I learned so much about Jon in those first 2 hours. He had excellent manners, it was obvious he was intelligent and he was funny. The best part was I guess we were both maybe at a place in our lives where we were ready to be better and be with better people.
It seemed like there were no questions we shouldn't ask or answer. I had never experienced this before. We were able to discover that we both came from nice, loving families; we both had loving siblings that were good people; we both liked dogs; we were both Christians; neither one of us did drugs and we had some of the same hobbies. I don't know, it is really weird but we just clicked. All of our core values were the same; all of our goals for the future were the same. Jon offered to accompany me to the airport to pick up Ken; the smart girl in me was thinking, "i don't know, you don't really know him and you're going to get into a car together...."; the heart in me said, "it's just Jon, what are you afraid of!". On our drive to the airport we just started making plans; and it wasn't like he said, "I always go to Easter at my parents house, would you like to come with me this year?" It was more like we just started meshing our calendars together, JUST LIKE THAT. This first date occurred on November 30, 2007.
This is Jon on Christmas Day 2007; less than a month after we met. I had to work that Christmas so I was at home rather than in Alabama with my family. Jon came over that morning to spend some time with me before he went back to his parents house in Hendersonville to celebrate Christmas.
So my birthday came around, I was off for the day and had plans to meet up with some friends for dinner at Virago. That afternoon I painted my nails and fixed my hair and put on my makeup and all that was left was to slip into my dress in a couple of hours and head to dinner. There had been a drip in the master shower that was bothering me and I had tried a new knob and that didn't work. I had some time to kill and thought I would run to Lowe's and exchange the knob. I was also keeping a friend's dog on this day; a very sweet dog that does volunteer work. I took the dog with me into Lowe's (they will let you do this!) and she sat there in the aisle while I looked over the various fix-it items in the plumbing/bathroom section. I thought about calling a plumber but the realtor's voice kept talking in the back of my head, "you will learn to do so many things." A nice older man who worked there helped me quickly diagnose the problem I had and it turned out all I needed was a $4.00 spring that went behind the knob and into this little hole; he showed me how to fix this on a little model they had. Simple as that and I thought, "see, I can do this!" The dog and I went home and I decided to give this a try, after all, it was my birthday, I was 27, a single, independent woman and a home owner! To make a long story short, I pulled something out behind that knob that I should not have pulled out..............WITHOUT TURNING THE MAIN WATER OFF FIRST!! THE WATER CAME SPRAYING OUT LIKE A FIRE HYDRANT!!! The water went all over the place and I couldn't stop it. I raced around the house opening closets looking for a way to shut this water off and could not find it. Finally I ran outside and knocked on every neighbors door looking for someone to help. I finally found a young man next door and he reluctantly offered to come over and he walked in and saw the water pouring through the ceiling and just stood there. Eventually we got the water off and then he left. I called my dad crying and panicking. The insurance company sent over some men who tore up my house and left these large industrial dryers everywhere and other equipment. My birthday dinner was cancelled and we sat in my living room amongst the debris eating pizza instead.
There is more to that story but I said I would get to the me finally stepping up to the plate to get married in this post so let me keep moving. After flooding my home I was traumatized. I was already uncomfortable being a home owner and now I had ruined it. I couldn't stand the sound of running water unless I was right there watching to see where it went. I spent several thousands of dollars in home repairs, yes, I had insurance but if you're replacing something you might as well upgrade I say! I had constant visions of mold that I was just sure was starting to grow as a result of the water (that was never true but that's what I kept imagining).
The saddest part about all of this is that I was having a really hard time dealing with owning a home before this flood occurred. I had found myself falling into a depressive state before I started looking for a home and after I found and bought one it didn't get better. I had been to this place in my mind before and I didn't like feeling like this. My parents gave me a dog........it tore up my new home, I returned it the day before my birthday. On the morning of my birthday I had actually decided to call a psychiatrist and make an appointment, I felt like I was getting in over my head. Who would have known later that day I would flood my new home. I had already admitted that morning that I was down and waving my white flag and then came the flood on top of it all!!! The psychiatrist gave me an antidepressant but the best prescription she gave me was a therapist.
I worked with this therapist for probably six months and then I graduated. I did all sorts of exercises to get over my traumatic experience; she was very good and it worked. One of the things she had me do that I absolutely hated at first was yoga. I ended up loving it; it brought a lot of clarity to my mind and a lot of calmness to my soul. It is something I am hoping to return to because I was a lot better person with it. On a side note she also had me buy one of those little waterfall things that sits on a table for my house and I would have to lay and listen to the water running while I did these mental exercises that calm the mind. (which sounds relaxing, unless the sound of running water makes you anxious! it was a very tough exercise for me!)
These were some things that began to calm me and settle me down from my wild ways. My friend was living 15 minutes away, rather than 2 feet away, and working at a very busy new job; so gone were the late night chats. I also was channeling my energy more to focus on me and being a better person. I guess the flood, the therapy and the yoga kind of mellowed me out. I did go on a few dates during this time but not like I did before; frankly I didn't have the energy and they bored me. I decided at that point that I was not going to associate with or participate in anything that didn't bring me up rather than down. I also borrowed a friend's not-wild dog a lot and went hiking.
The Fall season came around and I started socializing with different people that were not so wild. It's a long, complicated story how Jon and I met really so I will try to summarize. Someone we both had in common introduced us briefly and from there Jon called me to ask me out on a date. I had never really had a conversation with him and frankly I wasn't sure we would hit it off but he seemed nice enough and I had made up my mind about a month or two before that I was going to date cautiously and selectively (and it's amazing how few dates you will have after you set that rule!). Jon asked me to dinner on a night that I had to pick up one of my best friends, ken, from the airport (he was planning his move to New York:(. I refused to a dinner date, having to sit down and eat a meal with a man I hadn't really had a conversation with made me too nervous. Finally I talked him out of dinner and into just having drinks at a place we both knew. I got there early so that I could go ahead and get a drink and sit down and try to get comfortable. The place was packed and I can't tell you how many people were giving me crazy looks; there I was, this girl sitting all alone at a table. Some really drunk guys said, "hey, you're all by yourself, why don't you come and sit with us." I said, "no thanks, I'm meeting someone." A minute later one of the guys was so drunk he fell over in his chair...... The place was loud and wild; I was not. I was beginning to regret getting there early and was quite uncomfortable and nervous waiting on Jon's arrival. I kept looking back and forth from my phone to the door, looking for Jon. Finally I saw him walking towards me; I stood up and practically threw myself into his arms (remember, we didn't really know each other, we more or less just knew of each other from our friend). I exclaimed, "oh my gosh, I am so glad you are here, thank you for saving me!". Little did I know how much those words really meant. We sat down and I apologized for nearly knocking him over and everything and he looked around at the crowd and said, "no, I understand, I see what you mean." I learned so much about Jon in those first 2 hours. He had excellent manners, it was obvious he was intelligent and he was funny. The best part was I guess we were both maybe at a place in our lives where we were ready to be better and be with better people.
It seemed like there were no questions we shouldn't ask or answer. I had never experienced this before. We were able to discover that we both came from nice, loving families; we both had loving siblings that were good people; we both liked dogs; we were both Christians; neither one of us did drugs and we had some of the same hobbies. I don't know, it is really weird but we just clicked. All of our core values were the same; all of our goals for the future were the same. Jon offered to accompany me to the airport to pick up Ken; the smart girl in me was thinking, "i don't know, you don't really know him and you're going to get into a car together...."; the heart in me said, "it's just Jon, what are you afraid of!". On our drive to the airport we just started making plans; and it wasn't like he said, "I always go to Easter at my parents house, would you like to come with me this year?" It was more like we just started meshing our calendars together, JUST LIKE THAT. This first date occurred on November 30, 2007.
This is Jon on Christmas Day 2007; less than a month after we met. I had to work that Christmas so I was at home rather than in Alabama with my family. Jon came over that morning to spend some time with me before he went back to his parents house in Hendersonville to celebrate Christmas.
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