Sunday, February 10, 2013

How I Told My Husband

     So what happened next was it was around 6am. I had been having sharp lower pelvic/abdominal pains for a week and totally assumed it was pms related cramps but awhile back I had bought a huge pack of cheap pregnancy test strips on Amazon so that I could test, test, and retest. And I had been doing this routinely for awhile.  Since we didn't use any "real" birth control I was in the habit of testing anyways just to make sure every month, and once I decided I would try and get pregnant I knew I would want to test a lot so I bought these cheap strips like they have at the doctor's office and I also had a small supply of digital tests to back up any positives I might get.  So ANYWAYS for some reason I decided, what the hey, let me take one just to be sure because otherwise I really want some ibuprofen for this pain. So while I'm waiting the 2 minutes or whatever I'm checking out facebook or whatever and then I look over and BAM! 2 lines.  I started shaking, OMG!  So I take a deep breath and rummage thru the bottom of the cabinet for a digital test and take that one and sit there waiting again, and then it says PREGNANT.  I was happy but flipping out at the same time; our science experiment worked!  I didn't message my husband, I ended up sending a text to my BFF since 6th grade, Brandy, text her a picture of the tests and then of course a WHAT DO I DO NOW?  For some reason I was totally panic stricken.  And then I asked her how in the world should I tell my husband, I hadn't planned anything for when this would happen.  I even thought about waiting a few weeks and putting together something big and grand but then remembered I had to call the doctor and start on Lovenox ( a blood thinner) asap and my husband was likely to notice that I was giving myself injections twice a day and not to mention the fact that he probably needed to know that just in case. So I decided to just tell him.
     The afternoon rolled around I had to go and pick Jon up at the airport.  Sidenote: I left in time to stop by a cemetery on my way to the airport. I know, weird right.  Thing is, the week before we had been at a funeral mass for my very very favorite priest. Fr. Bevington. Fr. Bevington was one of a kind and one of the very first priests I met and helped preside over our wedding.  We were at his funeral mass and while we were sitting there in the pews is when the lower pelvic pain started and I kept making my husband check the back of my dress because I kept thinking I had or was going to start my period any minute.  Now looking back I totally think it was implantation. I know that sounds crazy but if you've never taken birth control before you are really in tune with your body in that area and I totally see now that the pain I was experiencing was implantation.  Back to the story: I stopped by the cemetery on my way to the airport because I wanted to tell Fr. Bevington the good news; I wanted to tell him what had happened.  Before I left for the airport/cemetery I attached a small note around our dog Sadie's neck basically saying that we had missed my husband, etc. etc. and then at the end said that the dog was going to be a big sister or something like that. 
    Funny part is that I pick my husband up at the airport and he starts telling me all about some new car he wants and the price and all of this stuff about it. He talked about it all the way home.  Meanwhile all I could think was, oh boy, you are not getting a new car now. :)  So we walk in the door and he went to see our dog like I knew he would. I couldn't even stand in the same room and look at him as he read the note the dog had on her.  Basically he read it and was like, okay, I missed you too.  I then said, "did you actually read that card.?"  He said, well, yeah, kinda, "i miss you too."  I said, "no, go back and read it." He still didn't get it and said, " I don't get it."  I then yelled from the other room I was standing in, "Jon, I AM PREGNANT." "YOU ARE NOT GETTING A NEW CAR!"  Thankfully he was elated.
   Another side note: From my post partum room in the hospital I could look out the window and see the Cathedral; the diocese home church; the church where we had our 4th date, the church where Fr. Bevington's funeral mass had been held.  Let me just say that when you mix pain meds and post pregnancy hormones and your wife can look out her window and see the place where she is convinced her baby was put together at you get one big ugly cry! :) Hahahaha.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Tough Road to Pregnancy

Hi again!  I left this blog way back when because things got so busy and I just didn't know how to say it.  During our whole possibly moving to Boston thing I was sorta kinda trying to get pregnant. And thinking about getting pregnant and trying to move to another state was kind of blowing my mind.  And how would I find a new high risk doctor etc etc.  But it didn't happen, we didn't move to Boston and I didn't get pregnant. And then I worried about why I wasn't pregnant because I've never even been allowed to take birth control pills or anything so that wasn't the problem.  I thought I was good at avoiding pregnancy because I was an expert at the calendar method but after not getting pregnant I thought maybe the reason I'm good at the calendar method is because I can't get pregnant or something.
     My doctor told me to give it a couple of more months and that if still nothing happened I could take Clomid.  But I wasn't really wanting to take it.  We ended up putting our house up for sale even though we weren't moving to Boston.  We decided to look for another house here in Nashville; we had outgrown my husband's house and decided we wanted more space for our hopefully growing family and decided that if that didn't work out WE would still enjoy the space :) 
     Father's Day was really sad this year for my husband.  Apparently he thought that this was the month that I would finally walk out of the bathroom and announce that I was pregnant. I will admit that I also thought there might be a chance and bought him a card on the off chance that I did find out I was pregnant. Didn't work out that way.  He was really let down and it was sad; up until that point I hadn't realized his genuine investment in the whole process.  After the let down in June I decided that the next month I was going to do whatever I pleased.  Prior to June I had been cramming every vitamin and mineral  under the sun into my body.  We were eating clean, I had been taking all sorts of vitamins for months, avoiding alcohol etc etc etc. But after the let down I went to a "whatever" phase.  I was over it all and I needed a break from it all.  I decided to take a month or two off and then if nothing happened I would go to see an acupuncturist a friend had referred me to.
     To make a long story short I found out I was pregnant in early July.  My husband was out of town at the time...